Today was a great day mostly spent driving through the Joshua Tree National Park which is just above Palm Springs. This will be a pretty photo heavy entry, but it was an amazing experience. The rock formations are huge and very strange looking, and I’d imagine very popular with rock climbers and people who don’t have dodgy knees and enjoy physical exercise in the sweltering heat. I did not climb over them, no.
While the actual driving time is probably around two hours, it took me around five hours to get around it because I was stopping so often to take photos. Around every corner there was an amazing rock formation or stunning view. I tried to put the camera on the windscreen to video some of the journey but it just fell off in the heat.
Of course the pool is being upgraded over summer, who would want to use it at this time of year?
The hills around Palm Springs are pretty spectacular and leave poor old Te Mata Peak in the dust.
The free hotel breakfast, I’ve had worse but it’s no IHOP. At the top is my first time having sausage gravy. It was fine, tasted kind of like a gravy but as a white sauce. I don’t think I need to have it again.
Like coffee, they do orange juice really well here, none of that orange flavoured breakfast drink, this was freshly squeezed tastiness.
Look at all the flavours! Somewhere in the middle is a chocolate milk one. I bet that goes down a treat in the hot summer sun, especially if it tips over in the car.
The cups on the side, second from bottom - that’s the large size.
They do XL and 2XL, because America. I got the no sugar Dr Pepper because I like not having diabetes.
What I thought was an old Native American building seems to be a wildlife or weather monitoring station. Why don’t we have zoom eyeballs yet?
Palm Springs in the middle, LA is further back in the haze
There were quiet a few trees that were burned and dead but nothing else around them.
According to a sign they are the results of lightning strikes. I was nervously eyeing up any overhead clouds from that point on.
There were people camping here! It was 38c with no wind, why would you do this?
Supposedly Skull Rock but I think it would be better named as Homer Skull Rock, you’d know what you’re getting.
The wheels. I still look like someone wresting a bag of potatoes getting in and out of it. I’m so used to getting in the other side I just can’t get my body to go into mirror mode.
The bushes around the place are creosote bushes and they smell so nice. It was like having a car air freshener that was actually pleasant.
I think this was a dust devil, it was there for ages and had a bunch of little ones around it.
114f, that would be 44c. This is why every time I have a meal I order 57 cold drinks.
Walmart. Disappointingly I saw far more weirdos in the Hollywood supermarket.
Not surprising, but disappointing. I had promised my brain weirdos and didn’t see any.
I asked for a local beer, but the waiter didn’t really speak much English so I pointed to the one that I didn’t recognise. Coors, Bud and Millers can all go to hell.
Pretty much the best burger I’ve ever had. The yellow peppers on the side - not eating them was probably one of the best decisions I’ve made.
Parmesan fries. Yes, yes they were very good.
Tomorrow I’m driving to Tucson. There is major road works on the Interstate so I’ve got the choice of going on that, with an hour and half wait, but only taking 5 1/2 hours or going down around the Salton Sea taking 6 1/2 hours but not sitting in a car for 90 minutes in the heat. Think I’m going to go the long way round.
Yesterday was the big move to the other Disney park on the site, the Adventure Park. First of all - another stop at IHOP for breakfast, I’m really liking their food. This time I had the Colorado omelette that had a variety of meats, including some fantastic smoked pulled pork, and of course the standard orange American cheese.
The cornerstone of every good heart attack. Probably a good thing we don’t have IHOP in NZ.
It was the hottest / sunniest day so far and I had finally managed to get a little sunburnt. It took five days of California sun to get a light red on me. Bit different from the Hawkes Bay summer sun that’ll burn you in 10 minutes. Adventure Park is mostly a collection of Disney’s other movie properties like Cars and Avengers, some branding of rides (Incredibles roller coaster, Inside Out spinning around ride etc) with some animation and movie making bits.
Any chance for some marketing - Halloween is only 2 1/2 months away!
Main Street USA, again the detail here was incredible. I also almost broke my ankle a few times on the damn trolley tracks.
The Cars setup was pretty impressive with a huge lot all decked out to look like the Cars movie and lots of themed rides.
This looked fun, until they started spinning about. Nope.
The Avengers section was mostly around selling rides although they did have the characters around for photos. This Iron Man was as tall as I am, as in not at all.
Not only are they blatantly in breach of my copyright, they didn’t even bother spelling it correctly.
Them, from that movie about the stuff that happens.
Definitely headed into the multiverse of madness
After Cars and Avengers, it was mostly carnival style rides and games, with the Ferris Wheel sporting a stomach churning twist…
Not the fastest ride which kind of makes it worse.
Nah
For some reason there was a completely random wilderness / mining town area, and it was fantastic. Running water, shady trees and hardly anybody around.
Having been to IHOP a few times, it was a day for repeats so I went to the Cheesecake Factory (a different one of course) for dinner. This time it was the Cuban sandwich and a white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake.
No, I have no idea what’s up with the cream, and it was entirely left afterwards.
You definitely need more than two days at Disneyland, but by the end of the third I kind of had had enough of it, and ready to move on. The day was upon me that I was pretty apprehensive about - driving. Thankfully the car, a Toyota Corolla has Android Auto built into the screen so I could easily navigate about the place. Considering the temperature today got up to 42c I didn’t really want to attach my phone to the windscreen.
I managed to cock up the first turn off, missing it thanks to some damn roadworks but pulled off a masterful U-turn to sort myself out and before long I was on the freeway! 8 lanes each direction, with pedestrian crossing diamonds on the left hand lanes (they mean carpooling lanes only), massive trucks all around and the worst road surfaces this side of an old farm track. The speed limits here are so much faster, with a lot of city roads at 70km/h and the freeway often at 110km/h. It gets pretty jumpy when the surface is all cracked and uneven, and I don’t think my blood pressure or heart rate will recover for some time.
One of my planned stops - at the outlet mall. I discovered I know nothing about clothing, and walked around the whole place and the only thing I bought was lunch.
Speaking of lunch; one of the best burgers I have ever had. The beef patties are made and cooked fresh, just so juicy and delicious. Plus another lemonade, I really like this stuff. I’m going to have to find a supply in NZ.
Just down the road was the Cabazon Dinosaurs, another on my to do list. If you’ve played Fallout New Vegas or GTA V you might recognise them. On the short drive from the mall to the dinosaurs I managed to bugger up going around my first roundabout. I went around the right direction, but managed to miss the lane split and ended up almost cutting someone off when I looked in my right hand wing mirror and only saw the dashboard - stupid left hand drive cars putting you on the other side of the car.
A big old pink dinosaur with a Burger King and an abandoned Mexican Restaurant. Pretty normal for this part of the country.
An allosaurus. Apparently a peaceful one.
This is what is mostly between LA and Palm Springs. That building in the distance is a Casino just built in the middle of nowhere along the interstate. It was about 40c here so I didn’t stay long.
Before long I was in Palm Springs and staggered out into the hotel. During check in the assistant asked where I was from and she said that my English and accent were very good, and I’ll fit in well here. I didn’t really know how to respond so I just said I’d been practicing for a while. The heat here is unbelievable, it’s stronger but less humid than LA so it’s a bit easier to put up with. It does make the air seem thick though, and it’s not much fun being out in it. I really like Palm Springs area, very weird but the people seem more laid back and friendly than LA and definitely New York. The city just seems to stop and then there’s desert and suddenly a mountain rises up.
City, desert, mountains. You know where you stand around here.
There is a street market every Thursday night so I went for a swim and enjoyed air conditioning until the sun went down and surely it would be cooler. No. At 7pm it wasn’t much cooler and by 9 it had plummited to a balmy 37c. As I type this it’s just after 11pm and it’s still 34c outside.
I knew she was a big star, but bloody hell I didn’t know she was this big!
The food is so good here - beef hotdog made in the area BBQed (or grilled as they call it here) by some poor bastard who had to stand over the bbq in this heat.
Market, a lot of tat, two different SPCA fundraising stalls and some pretty dubious “natural remedies”
I got some dried mango, which was so good. The guy was also selling dried Kiwis which looked far too bright green to be good for either it or me. I tried joking to the stall owner that I’m a Kiwi too and he agreed then tried to sell me some dates he grew himself. So much for my English being good, he clearly didn’t understand my excellent joke.
This guy was playing some sort of stick / violin combination, but seemed more interested in adjusting his fan speed than playing - which I don’t blame him for really.
Tomorrow I’m off for a drive around the Joshua Tree National Park and maybe a visit to the Salton Sea.
After yesterday’s epic journey of overdoing it and trying to break myself I had a lovely sleep in and missed the worst of the mid-morning humidity. It was also the first time I’ve had breakfast, lunch and dinner on the trip, the excitement never stops!
I started off with a pretty good breakfast from IHOP, a different one this time, opposite Disneyland and all of 200m away from the one opposite the hotel. I have at last had pancakes from IHOP, and they were quite good, although the strawberry syrup looked a bit too red to be anything other than chemicals. I was ready to answer any questions about what I wanted with my coffee, but sadly I was given a bowl of half & half pots whether I liked it or not. I did like it, America does make a good cup of coffee.
Eggs over easy (I’m learning the lingo), bacon that wasn’t gross, links (sausages to you and me), sliced ham (processed but again, pretty good) and great potato hash that was perfectly loose for mixing up with the runny egg yolk. And now I’m hungry again.
So tempted but my dignity said no.
I headed back to the park and had a look through a really cool gallery of Disney art and concept drawings. The gallery included the “Great Moments with Mr Lincoln” show with the famous animatronic Lincoln. Considering it was made 60 years ago it was pretty well done with lots of detail in his movements, down to his eyes moving. We were told we were lucky because it was the show that Walt Disney had directed. I’m not sure lucky would be the word I would choose. The show was a bizarre mix of over the top American patriotism and incredible insight and as applicable today as it was back in his day. It was a stark difference between what Lincoln had written and what Disney had done. The whole thing wrapped up with a crazy mix of Glory Glory Hallelujah, a sunset fading into an American flag, a large budgie flapping about (it could have been an eagle) and then ended with some wailing tune about America flying free. I took the advice and fled to be free from this nonsense.
I was waiting for his eyes to go red and start shooting but sadly we had to sit through the rest of the show
Just begging for a rabbit shadow puppet but Americans are a bit touchy about this guy.
I couldn’t believe it - the reason Kennedy was assassinated!
Here he is clearly pointing out the studio lights of the faked moon landing.
In the middle of the gallery this guy was busy doing custom artwork ordered from the outlines in the books to the left.
Because I hadn’t had enough mental trauma I went to the must see “It’s a small world” ride. Truly horrific. A nightmare of crazy smiling dolls and the one line from the song repeating over and over for 12 odd minutes. The New Zealand section was insultingly small and dark, which you can see below although I was delighted to see that they managed to cock up Australia as well and added a Moai from Easter Island which I’m not sure Chile would be too happy about.
The whole ride is by boat floating along a canal, which reminded me of the Simpsons episode where Lisa drinks the water from a similar ride and has a halucinagenic episode. Before I could try, I saw a guy in the boat ahead put his hand in the water and then his fingers in his mouth. He didn’t stand up and announce he was the Lizard Queen so the risk of dysentery was not worth the price.
Enjoy
The horrors that lie within
Lunch - once again they’ve managed to overcook the hell out of the coating of my chicken. It was proper chicken though and pretty good. I’ve discovered the delights of Minute Maid Lemonade - think flat Lift but more lemony, it’s so good.
The Star Wars marketplace. Does what it says on the tin.
After the ride broke down and a bit of a wait (filled in by buying stuff and riding the sailing ship ride) I finally got to go on the Rise of the Resistance ride. It is amazing. You are in a group of people and are supposedly being transported before being captured and then escaping via a robot controlled cart thing that drove in all sorts of directions. The ride itself is huge and combines a bit of walking with sitting in the cart and having the utter stuffing shaken and bashed out of you as you escape from holographic stormtroopers and Kylo Ren. There is one bit where the cart is dropped from a ship and the sensation of falling is so real I wouldn’t be surprised if a little bit of wee didn’t escape most people. I, and the two other middle aged blokes were grinning like delighted boys by the end of it.
Just after being captured you step out into this hangar which is huge. The opening at the back is an entire screen with Tie Fighters and Star Destroyers buzzing past.
Some sort of chicken with a pretty good, and not overcooked coating, what used to be vegetables and Mac. The cheese was pretty absent.
The Star Wars themed restaurant
Every night they have a parade and fireworks - at the moment it’s some sort of electric street theme. Not sure why, it just is. All the traditional Disney movies & characters are covered, with a scattering of some of the newer ones. I managed to get Tinkerbell as she trundled past:
I highly suspect the people there stopping everyone crossing the road through the parade are there because some fool has done it.
The final part of the fireworks show - the whole thing goes for about 15 minutes.
Ever get the feeling you’re being followed?
Tomorrow I’m off to Disney Adventure Land, same place but you turn left instead of right through the main gate. More of the newer Disney stuff, so a whole bunch more things to buy that I don’t have room for or luggage space to carry.
Just a quick update for today, it’s been a long busy day and I’m knackered. I did the Star Wars stuff this morning, made a light sabre and a remote control droid then threw some money at the Disney corporation for some shirts and other stuff. By early afternoon it was so hot and I was so fed up with hauling a damn light sabre, a droid and a bag full of stuff I gave up and went back to the hotel. I came back at 5pm to do some rides and watched the fireworks show which was amazing.
The castle was a lot smaller than I imagined, but the huge crowds more than made up for it.
“Breakfast”, some sort of Star Wars themed insult to food. Scrambled eggs, two types of cheese and some sort of pork sausage. The cheese got dumped pretty quickly, and was edible after that.
The level of detail that has gone into the park is amazing. Everywhere you look everything is as you think it should be. The eftpos machine displays are all themed, the staff are all acting as if they are in Star Wars and even the staff only areas are behind Star Warsy sliding doors.
The entrance to the Star Wars bit
Electric Scooters and pushchair parks were all over the place. So tempted to make use of either one
A faithful recreation of what small town American does NOT look like
Winnie the Pooh area and me looking extremely knackered. I think some small child was screaming as well.
The Millennium Falcon of course, looked exactly as I imagined
My R2D2 with added accessories
The Light Sabre - and I have no idea how the hell I’m getting this back to NZ via Arizona, Vegas, DC and NY. Thankfully it has a carrying bag so I don’t look too much of a dork with my carry-on.
A corn dog, my very first and something off the list of must-trys. It was fine. The outside was cornbread but the outside was cooked far too long. The old A&P show hotdog is a far superior stick based snack.
Donald I presume
Heading into a Star Wars themed ride that was in 3D and threw us around so much I think it fixed my back.
Even better at night
Finding Nemo submarine ride. Not for me. In Sydney I discovered I don’t do submarines and I’m comfortable with that.
Back here again around 12 hours later. There were some utterly shagged looking parents that I recognised from this morning who must have been there all day
Social distancing at it’s finest. This was after the fireworks so it’s a bit more crowded than normal, but it was fair heaving with people.
